You know, it's not every house on the block that gets to have its very own cesspool in the front yard.
I bet the neighbors are all totally jealous of our suspiciously lush lawn and slimy, moldy front walk and our mosquito and bee infestation on the front steps. But you know what? Fuck them and their envy. If they want a cesspool they'll just have to get one the old fashioned way, by finding their own crappy rental house with a broken wastewater line in the front yard.
I can't help but wish I'd seen that particular feature before we signed the lease, but there was always a car parked in front of it before. At least it's not the toilet line, so it just smells like dishsoap and damp.
Anyway, the landlady says she's on the case, so maybe we'll get to have the entire yard trenched. Which means they'll use a backhoe. Oh, boy, backhoe! I must be the luckiest girl alive.